YEAR-IN-REVIEW: Pre-Junior 2016-2017

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 Where do I begin?

 

I am lost, but yet I am grounded.

 

I am scared, but yet I am brave.  

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Did I mention the CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES. That is of the utmost  importance.

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This is a year-in-review celebrating the conclusion of a year, but yet my year seems to be just now be beginning.  I would be untruthful if I said this was a good year, but yet it would also be false to say it was a bad year.  This was an emotional year.  12 months of learning, experiencing, and coming to terms in a harsh and rewarding world.  Let this reflection of my current journey be raw and unfiltered. 

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The past 12 months has been a journey.  I do not know where my future will lead me, but I am hopeful sunny days will always be in sight.  

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Upon completion of the summer 2016 academic semester, I moved to Dallas, Texas to spend the fall working on the men's team at J.C. Penney.  I had the most incredible experience from August to December.  I finally was working for a company I truly loved, and I was creating products that meant something to the world.  The things I was producing for stores was actually  needed for real customers.  J.C. Penney taught me more than I ever dreamed I could learn in a few short months.  Specifically, I worked on a new men's brand, Decree, and I am proud to say that I was responsible for a whole men's collection for fall 2017.  Of course, there were times of utter frustration and pressure, but I accomplished something very few students my age can claim.  I made friends in Texas who will last a lifetime, and I experienced things I will never forget, (even attending the world championships of professional bull riding!)  I am blessed I was able to adventure all around Texas from Dallas, Austin, Houston, and everyting in between (especially hiking to waterfalls) with one of my best friends who also co-oped on the J.C. Penney men's team.  The fall semester of 2016 at J.C. Penney is a chapter I will reread for a long time.  

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Fast forward to January 2017. I have moved back to school in Cincinnati, living with my best friend, and ready to take on what is known to be the hardest semester of fashion design at DAAP.  This is the semester when I will construct an entire coat by hand.  This is the semester when my friends and I will constantly lean and hold onto each other.  This is the semester when all the fraying threads of life unravel (pun intended).  

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Just a short couple weeks into January, I suddenly found myself awaking in the middle of the night, unable to walk, in extreme stomach pain, and absolutely terrified.  I was just starting my semester, and I refused to be sick, especially two states away from home.  Unfortunately, illness doesn't care about your priorities.  On a Sunday evening in January, I ordered an Uber to take me to the emergency room, and I crawled my way to the ER receptionist.  Long story short, this ER visit was not my last, and we may never know why my digestive system decided to begin failing me. I do know, however, that we should never ignore our body's cries for help. My medicine cabinet went from being almost empty to being filled overnight,  My body was suddenly dependent on medications to continue running   I am grateful for my teachers' gracious hearts and friends' everlasting support.  Even to this day, I don't fully understand how I was able to complete this semester successfully (especially since I am unable to drink coffee!). 

 

January to April was a blur.  Either I was lying on the bathroom floor clenching my stomach, or I was trying to get work done before the evident pain would return.  My body rejected everything.  I had no energy.  I lost all creativity and motivation.   And, I was scared.  I am scared, but yet, I am brave.  

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I spent the remainder of that spring semester finding the beauty in the illness that is nothing but ugly.  I created an elegant tailored coat inspired by my experience earlier in the semester.  And for my final drawing process travel book, I produced a ninety-five page 3D book entitled "My Mind through Ward C," filled with personal experiences, textures, thoughts, sketches and drawings, fabrics, and passion that extend beyond the pages and bring the readers into another realm.   From my experiences, another passion of mine surfaced, which has led me to now volunteering in the emergency department at a local hospital during the night shifts.  

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Now, I completed the hardest semester of my academic career, and you may be thinking "okay, what's the problem? Isn't life going well?"  

Well, yes.  Theoretically, at least.  

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In May, I moved yet again to Atlanta, Georgia to begin working one of my dream jobs, a design co-op at Carter's/OshKosh, the largest children's clothing manufacturer in the world.  I accepted this offer knowing I would not have any of my best friends by my side.  I knew I was moving to Atlanta alone for a job, but I did not expect the immense wave of loneliness that would come when the only person I have to talk to all weekend is myself.  As an extrovert, I thrive on human interaction, and being alone in a big city with no connections is a nightmare.  It is lonely and disheartening to not have a friend by my side to share my experiences with as I explore a new area.    I am using this summer semester to reflect on how I can find fulfillment in myself and the environment surrounding me without relying on others.  

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So, these are the thoughts that have been running through my mind, and I can't always escape them.  Sometimes, we tend to focus on the negative, but those are the things from which I cultivate and learn.   These unfortunate events are what have shaped me.  I've learned that tomorrow is not guaranteed, and I must not forget where I have come from in order to plan for where I will go next.  I am full of anticipation for my future, both short term and long term.  Long term, I hope to land yet another co-op for an incredible company.  Short term, I can't wait to begin learning another musical instrument, the harp.  And, I am excited to run around Atlanta in search of the public "Play Me Again" pianos, a collection of painted pianos placed in public spaces for the community to play and enjoy (www.playmeagainpianos.org/).  And, you bet I will spend the majority of my time sharing musical talent with the world.  
In the meantime, I will continue to pray... for forgiveness for those whom I have unintentionally harmed; for thanksgiving for the opportunities with which I am blessed; for strength and courage to fight loneliness, mental pains; for hopeful results as I am tested for juvenile arthritis at the end of this semester; and, of course, for love for unending support and energy to love my family, friends, and all those I encounter and to never stop bringing a smile to other's days.

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This year is not one that I wish to repeat, but it is one that I will always remember.  When hardships arise, I know I have the strength to push through to success.   Darling, just own it.  Hold faith, thank the Lord, forgive your enemies, and believe hope is on its way.

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If you have survived reading my thoughts on my 3rd year of college, bless your heart. 

And I promise, in 12 months, my next year-in-review will be full of joy and laughter!

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Love&Stuff,

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Maria Áine

5.29.17 @ HodgePodge Coffeehouse &Gallery, Atlanta, Georgia 

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